There is a book that I used to read to my children when they were little called, “The Velveteen Rabbit” by British author Margery Williams. The story is about a stuffed toy rabbit that becomes real through the love of his owner, a young boy. I always loved the book because it so cleverly captured the transformative power of love, not just from others, but through learning to love oneself.
The rabbit is a Christmas gift for the boy but is initially put aside in favor of some of the newer, jazzier toys he receives, despite the rabbit’s having soft plush fur, satin-lined ears, thread whiskers, and jet-black button eyes. The rabbit feels inferior and longs to be played with like the other toys. But even when the boy begins to play with him, the rabbit doesn’t initially care for being snuggled and petted and dragged around everywhere the boy goes as it begins to wear on his elegant appearance. But soon, the boy and the rabbit are inseparable, and the rabbit’s increasingly shabby exterior is not even considered by either of them. There is only love.
“Weeks passed, and the little Rabbit grew very old and shabby, but the Boy loved him just as much. He loved him so hard that he loved all his whiskers off, and the pink lining to his ears turned grey, and his brown spots faded. He even began to lose his shape, and he scarcely looked like a rabbit anymore, except to the Boy. To him he was always beautiful, and that was all that the little Rabbit cared about. He didn’t mind how he looked to other people, because the nursery magic had made him Real, and when you are Real shabbiness doesn't matter.”
But even though the toy rabbit believes himself to be real because of the boy’s love, his final transformation to a living, breathing creature comes only through loving and accepting himself.
From the time that we are young, we begin to learn what brings us love, acceptance, and acknowledgement. We also learn what to do to avoid unwanted attention. We take these learnings and begin forming masks and adjusting our outward appearances. We change how we behave and what we believe to achieve these goals, and we often begin to lose touch with the “realness” we were born with. We can dwell more on what we do or what we look like than on who we are, how we feel, and if we are happy.
What if I told you that this learned behavior can be unlearned? The limiting beliefs that we accumulate over time can be dissolved. Getting back in touch with what brings us joy, possibility, and opportunity is not only possible, but achievable.
Are you ready to rediscover your realness?