There is an old saying: “If you keep people in the dark and feed them crap, you’ll end up with mushrooms.” When cultivating a garden - or in this metaphor, an organization, a relationship, or a role - many of us may find it preferable to end up with flowers than mushrooms. Flowers thrive with light, open space, consistent nourishment, and a healthy environment, just as people thrive in a culture of transparency, honesty, encouragement, and support.
While it may take more effort or training, especially for those who find that sharing their feelings and thoughts doesn’t come easily, the payoffs are well-documented. Human beings overwhelmingly value being appreciated, being heard, being seen. Oprah Winfrey, in a commencement speech to Harvard in 2013, shared that in the over 35,000 interviews she had performed, “The common denominator that I found in every single interview is we want to be validated. We want to be understood.”
Many organizations are beginning to actively build cultures, policy, and training around “psychological safety” - making sure their employees feel comfortable in speaking up, being listened to. The flip side of this coin is that managers and leadership should also feel confident in sharing and soliciting input from their teams, as well as ensuring they remove roadblocks along the way. Steps might include:
1. Invite everyone to contribute: We all know there are certain people who seem to have no problem sharing their views. However, finding appropriate ways to encourage those who may not feel comfortable sharing their thoughts can yield important insights.
2. Actively and consistently share the “why”: Some leaders feel they are checking the transparency box when they focus on objectives, desired results, and work plans - the “what and how”. What’s missing in that approach is the most motivating element - the “why” - and how each person’s contribution matters.
3. Offer recognition AND appreciation: Both recognition and appreciation go a long way toward helping people feel good about themselves, but there is an important distinction. Recognition usually requires a task to have been performed, but appreciation can be a simple acknowledgement of gratitude. Both are powerful.
Whether in a work environment or in a personal setting, these efforts can yield a bounty in establishing trust, better relationships, easier conflict resolution, and goal achievement - flowers over mushrooms.