I am often asked why I chose the name “Cross the Road” for my coaching practice. People might assume it's because of the jokes about why the chicken crosses the road. I actually love those jokes, and I do have a strange love of chickens just because I think they are funny (especially when trying to run while wearing pants), but the name of the practice isn't really about that.
The subjects of the cross the road jokes have expanded to encompass almost anything you can think of – donkeys, Luke Skywalker, chewing gum, etc. – all with their specific reasons for making it to the other side. Some are not sure about crossing the road in the first place. Some have a tough struggle on their way across. Some find that the other side isn’t what they were expecting. There is no doubt that all would benefit from a coach to help them navigate their journey.
Every person has their own road to cross with their own challenges, reasons for crossing, and perceived vision of what the other side looks like. However, it’s not easy to hold up a mirror to ourselves and see what may be holding us back or causing us to believe we can't or shouldn't try to cross in the first place. Many of us are paralyzed by fear or shame or a lack of self-confidence. Some may be grappling with deeply ingrained protective beliefs or behaviors that were formed in our childhoods or as a result of perceived social norms or traumatic events.
While it may be surprising, the first and most powerful step – the one that strikes the most fear in many people – is simply to acknowledge to ourselves what is causing us the most pain. The fear often comes from believing that "others" will judge us or see us as weak as a result. Shame keeps the pain inside and causes all sorts of challenges, both personally and professionally. By opening up and naming the pain out loud to an empathetic and trusted friend, advisor or coach, it can literally feel like a dam breaking. The good news is that shame crumbles under the act of being courageously vulnerable.
Few things makes me happier than to see my clients finally realize that vulnerability equals strength, not weakness. As the very wise Brené Brown has said, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.” And while the crossing the road may be hard, the other side can offer great rewards, if only you take the first and hardest step.
Are you or someone you know thinking about your own journey? I stand ready to help (and am armed with some chicken jokes to break the ice).